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Drafting
Guys Over 60
contributed by jb via email
>This
is funny & obviously written by a
>Former Soldier...
>
>New
Direction for any war: Send Service
>Vets
over 60!
>
>I am over 60 and the
Armed Forces think I'm
>too old to track
down terrorists. You can't be
>older than
42 to join the military. They've got
>the
whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending
>18-year olds off to fight, they ought to
take
>us old guys. You shouldn't be able
to join a military
>unit until you're at
least 35.
>
>For starters,
researchers say 18-year-olds
>think about
sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only
>think about sex a couple of times a day,
leaving
>us more than 28,000 additional
seconds per day
>to concentrate on the
enemy.
>
>Young guys haven't lived
long enough to be
>cranky, and a cranky
soldier is a dangerous soldier.
>'My back
>hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and
hungry.'
>We are impatient and maybe
letting us kill some
>a--hole that
desperately deserves it will make
>us
feel better and shut us up for
awhile.
>
>An 18-year-old doesn't
even like to get up
>before 10am. Old
guys always get up early to pee,
>so what
the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired
> and can't sleep and since I'm already
up, I may
> as well be up killing some
fanatical
>
son-of-a-bi--h.
>
>If
captured we couldn't spill the beans because
> we'd forget where we put them. In fact,
name,
> rank, and serial number would be
a real
> brainteaser.
>
>Boot
camp would be easier for old guys.. We're
>used
>to getting screamed and
yelled at and we're
>used to soft food.
We've also developed an appreciation
>for
guns... We've been using them for years as
>an excuse to get out of the house, away
from the
> screaming and
yelling.
>
>They
could lighten up on the obstacle course
>however. I've been in combat and never
saw a single
> 20-foot wall with rope
hanging over the side,
> nor did I ever
do any pushups after completing
> basic
training.
>
>Actually, the running
part is kind of a waste
>of energy, too.
I've never seen anyone outrun
>a
bullet.
>
>An 18-year-old has the
whole world ahead of
>him. He's still
learning to shave, to start a
>
conversation with a
>pretty girl. He
still hasn't figured out that
>a baseball
cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not
>the back of his
head.
>
>These are all great reasons
to keep our kids
>at home to learn a
little more about life before
>sending
them off into harm's way.
>
>Let us
old guys track down those dirty rotten
>coward terrorists. The last thing an
enemy would
>want to see is a couple
million pissed off old
>farts with
attitudes and
>automatic weapons, who
know that their best
> years are already
behind them.
>
>HEY!! How about
recruiting Women over
>50...in
menopause!!! You think MEN have
>
attitudes??
>Ohhhhhhhhhhhh
my God!!! If nothing else,
>put them on
border patrol. They'll have it secured
>the first night!
>
>
>Send
this to all of your senior friends...it's
>in big type so they can read
it.
Guys Over 60
contributed by jb via email
>This
is funny & obviously written by a
>Former Soldier...
>
>New
Direction for any war: Send Service
>Vets
over 60!
>
>I am over 60 and the
Armed Forces think I'm
>too old to track
down terrorists. You can't be
>older than
42 to join the military. They've got
>the
whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending
>18-year olds off to fight, they ought to
take
>us old guys. You shouldn't be able
to join a military
>unit until you're at
least 35.
>
>For starters,
researchers say 18-year-olds
>think about
sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only
>think about sex a couple of times a day,
leaving
>us more than 28,000 additional
seconds per day
>to concentrate on the
enemy.
>
>Young guys haven't lived
long enough to be
>cranky, and a cranky
soldier is a dangerous soldier.
>'My back
>hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and
hungry.'
>We are impatient and maybe
letting us kill some
>a--hole that
desperately deserves it will make
>us
feel better and shut us up for
awhile.
>
>An 18-year-old doesn't
even like to get up
>before 10am. Old
guys always get up early to pee,
>so what
the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired
> and can't sleep and since I'm already
up, I may
> as well be up killing some
fanatical
>
son-of-a-bi--h.
>
>If
captured we couldn't spill the beans because
> we'd forget where we put them. In fact,
name,
> rank, and serial number would be
a real
> brainteaser.
>
>Boot
camp would be easier for old guys.. We're
>used
>to getting screamed and
yelled at and we're
>used to soft food.
We've also developed an appreciation
>for
guns... We've been using them for years as
>an excuse to get out of the house, away
from the
> screaming and
yelling.
>
>They
could lighten up on the obstacle course
>however. I've been in combat and never
saw a single
> 20-foot wall with rope
hanging over the side,
> nor did I ever
do any pushups after completing
> basic
training.
>
>Actually, the running
part is kind of a waste
>of energy, too.
I've never seen anyone outrun
>a
bullet.
>
>An 18-year-old has the
whole world ahead of
>him. He's still
learning to shave, to start a
>
conversation with a
>pretty girl. He
still hasn't figured out that
>a baseball
cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not
>the back of his
head.
>
>These are all great reasons
to keep our kids
>at home to learn a
little more about life before
>sending
them off into harm's way.
>
>Let us
old guys track down those dirty rotten
>coward terrorists. The last thing an
enemy would
>want to see is a couple
million pissed off old
>farts with
attitudes and
>automatic weapons, who
know that their best
> years are already
behind them.
>
>HEY!! How about
recruiting Women over
>50...in
menopause!!! You think MEN have
>
attitudes??
>Ohhhhhhhhhhhh
my God!!! If nothing else,
>put them on
border patrol. They'll have it secured
>the first night!
>
>
>Send
this to all of your senior friends...it's
>in big type so they can read
it.
Last edited by Admin on Mon Aug 09, 2010 10:02 am; edited 1 time in total
